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Zeg maar dááág chiashake, hello pizza hummus

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Die quinoasalades en chiazaadshakes hebben we nu wel gezien. De snacktrends van dit jaar schrijven voor: Kiku-appels, groentenijsjes, pizza hummus en een inbierdeeggefrituurdeuienringendip. Smullen.

Imagine the contents of the world’s largest vending machine upended into a windowless midtown Manhattan conference room and you have Snack Attack, the media’s big night to sample the best and brightest new foods that you’ll be boredom-eating in 2015.

A couple of dozen exhibition tables line two sides of the meeting room, staffed by bright-eyed, golf-shirted publicists armed with product samples, coupons, and handouts. Journalists like me amble around shouldering giant tote bags, comparing the merits of roasted chickpeas and chickpea chips, sampling from a limitless buffet of snack bars, dips, lactose-free ice cream, and turkey & gravy-flavored potato chips (more on those later). It’s like being on a cruise ship, with slightly less motion sickness.

What did I learn from Snack Attack?

First, you should never eat half of a chocolate babka before going to Snack Attack.

Second, the big trend in the world of snacking this year is health.

The room was not without its cinnamon rolls and Tastykake snack cakes, but most brands made a concerted effort to market snacks as having an aura of health about them. Gluten-free items made only a minor appearance, with the big focus being on protein, whole grains, and “all natural” ingredients. The snack food industry has seen millennials beat their chests and cry for quinoa, chia seeds, and acai berries, and by God, it’s responding. Here’s an overview of some of the notable nibbles.

The Definitely Good for You

Back to the Roots Organic Stoneground Flakes: At the head of the “snacks that are legitimately good for you” column sits this new cereal, basically a more legit version of what Wheaties is going for. It’s made from just stone-ground wheat, grown and milled in California, plus a touch of cane sugar and sea salt.

Photographer: Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Photographer: Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

The Kiku Apple: This super-sweet, crispy breed of apple is new to the U.S. market. I’m convinced that it’s going to be the “It” apple of 2015. It will make the Honeycrisp look like garbage.

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Manitoba Harvest Hemp Heart Bites: If you are a very conscientious snacker—somebody who chews on sunflower seeds and drinks unsweetened cranberry juice—these nuggets made from the soft, nutritious centers of hemp seeds are for you. They are loaded with protein and omegas and will probably make you live forever.

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Ruby Rocket’s Popsicles: These fruit and veggie popsicles in flavors like Planetary Pink Lemonade (organic butternut squash, strawberry, lemon juice) and Gravity Grape (organic grapes, sweet potatoes, blueberry, and açai) are gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan, with no added sugar, no GMOs, and they’re loaded with healthy probiotics. Ruby Rocket’s for President!

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

The Probably Good for You

Fusion Jerky: Jerky used to be just a scary gas station snack, but thanks to Paleo dieters, it’s the cold-pressed juice of 2015. As such, it comes as no surprise to see a San Francisco startup making “artisan” beef, pork, turkey, and chicken jerky free from artificial ingredients in flavors like “chili basil” and “rosemary citrus.”

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

CLVR Bars: These win the “superfoods bingo” award for managing to cram the greatest number of trendy ingredients into a single-serving snack bar, including coconut sugar, quinoa, chia, amaranth, pomegranate, and flax seeds. Mazel tov! This is the bar to beat for superfood junkies.

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Chobani: In case you’re not eating enough Greek yogurt, Chobani has 800 new varieties to satisfy every “yogurt occasion”: breakfast, afternoon snack, dessert. Yogurts with fruits and oats, 100-calorie yogurts, yogurts with decadent mix-ins. Yogurts for when you’re sitting on the bus, talking on the phone, or posting BuzzFeed articles to Facebook. You’re missing out on so many opportunities to eat yogurt right now!

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Foto Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

The Vaguely Good for You

7-Eleven Brand 7-Select: 7-Eleven wants to be known for more than just Slurpees and armed robberies, so it’s launched a line of healthy and deftly on-trend snacks: sprouted tortilla chips in flavors like Sriracha, Sweet Potato, Multigrain, and Sweet Chili. Jerkies. Yogurt bars. If millennials want it, 7-Eleven’s got it!

https://www.7-eleven.com/Only-at-7-Eleven/7-Select/

https://www.7-eleven.com/Only-at-7-Eleven/7-Select/

Sabra Pizza Hummus: What’s better than plain old hummus? Pizza hummus! It’s almost as good as pizza.

https://www.7-eleven.com/Only-at-7-Eleven/7-Select/

https://www.7-eleven.com/Only-at-7-Eleven/7-Select/

The Not Even Trying to Be Good for You

Boulder Canyon Thanksgiving Chips: Also in the category of “foods that taste like other food,” these kettle chips in “Turkey & Gravy” and “Pumpkin Pie” flavors are perfect for when you’re craving a homemade dinner but don’t have any loved ones to make it for you. Now there’s a potato chip for that. Problem solved.

https://www.7-eleven.com/Only-at-7-Eleven/7-Select/

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Honey Maid Birthday Cake Teddy Grahams: Sliding further toward the “treat yo’self” end of the snack spectrum, remember Teddy Grahams? The good people at Honey Maid have taken those adorable bear-shaped cookies and made them in a “Birthday Cake” flavor. Lest we fear they are basically like eating cookies dipped in confetti cake batter, I was hastily informed that they have 8 grams of whole grains, are low in trans fat, and high in calcium. (Pssst—they’re basically like eating cookies dipped in confetti cake batter.)

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Entenmann’s Party Cake Little Bites: Obviously confetti cake is having a moment, because Entenmann’s has turned out its own mini “party cakes” (read: confetti cakes) in handy single-serving packages. They’re perfect for any time you want to give your kids a bag of cake.

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

The What Are You Doing to Yourself?

Heluva Good Beer Battered Onion Ring Dip: This dip tastes of heavy cream, powdered onion, and sadness. It’s the kind of snack that will get you through a broken engagement, sudden unemployment, or an entire season of The Bachelor.

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

Jeremy Allen/Bloomberg Business

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