Italian accent

Onea day Ima gonna Detroit to se bigga hotel. Inna se morning Ima going down to eata se breakfast. I tella se waitress, I wanna two pisses of toast. She bringa me only se one piss! I tella her, I wanna two piss; she say: go to se toilet. I say: you no understand; I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say: you better no piss onna se plate, you sonna ma bitch.

Later I go out to eat at se bigga restaurant. Se waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her: I wanna fock. She tella me: everyone wanna fock. I tell her: I wanna fock on se table. She say: you better no fock on se table, you sonna my bitch! So I go back to my room inna hotel and there are no shits onna my bed. I calla se manager and tella him: I wanna shit. He tella me to go to se toilet. I say: you no understand: I wanna shits onna se bed. He say: you better no shit onna se bed, you sonna ma bitch! I go to check out and se man at se desk say: peace to you! I say: piss onna you too! You sonna my bitch. Ima gonna back to Italy.