John Cleese: Now self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where I got to last week, when I was showing you how to defend yourself against anyone who attacks you with a piece of fresh fruit.

Michael Palin: You promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.

JC: What do you mean?

Terry Jones: We've done fruit for the last nine weeks.

JC: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh?

MP: But couldn't we do something else, for a change?

Eric Idle: Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?

JC: Pointed sticks! Ho ho ho! We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Oh well well well, I'll tell you something, my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me. Right – the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit, thus...

All: We've done the passion fruit.

JC: What?

Graham Chapman: We've done the passion fruit.

MP: We've done oranges, apples, grapefruit.

TJ: Whole and segments.


JC: All right then – bananas!

All: Oh.

JC: Whe haven't done them, have we?

All: No.

JC: Right! Bananas! How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Here, you, take this. Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana, next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless...

(Monty Python`s flying circus, 26 oktober 1969. Dit is het slot van deze serie. Samenstelling Henk van Gelder). Net5 zendt op maandagen oude afleveringen uit.