Great to be a guy

Phone conversations are over in

30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

When your work is criticized, you

don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

The garage is all yours.

You never have to clean the toilet.

You can be showered and ready in

10 minutes.

You can be president.

If someone forgets to invite you

to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

If you're 34 and single nobody


You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

Flowers fix everything.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is

coming by.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.