In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In a Hungarian zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriage.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the Russia, you are welcome to it.