A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.
A yuppie opens the door of his BMW at the same time a bus is going by. The bus takes his door right off. The police show up and the yuppie cries: ,,Look what they 've done to my car. I can't believe it. My beemer. My baby.'' The policeman shakes his head and says: ,,You yuppies make me sick. You're so damn worried about your precious car you haven't even noticed that your arm has been taken off in the accident.'' The yuppie looks down at the bloody stub where his arm used to be, turns white, and says: ,,Oh my god, where's my Rolex?''