Odd signs

Sign in a London department store: `Bargain basement upstairs'

Outside a secondhand shop: `We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?'

Outside a photographer's studio: `Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.'

Outside a disco: `Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. everyone welcome.'

Sign on motorway garage: `Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.'

Notice in health food shop window: `Closed due to illness.'

Op vliegveld gevonden:

Fluglehrers Abendgebet

Der tag geht nun zu Ende,

Ich falte meine Hände,

und kann es immer noch nicht

fassen;

Gott sei Dank verging der Tag

ohne Cessna-überslag.

Nun grüb'le ich die ganze Nacht

was der wohl morgen mit mir macht.