Why worry?

There are only two things to worry about. Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about.

Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. If you die there are only two things to worry about. Either you go to heaven or you go to hell.

If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you will be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry!

Tekst op een nepgrafzerkje in de voortuin van een Amerikaanse straatgenoot:

Here he lies

cold and hard

the last damn dog

that pooped

in my yard.