Dog Haiku

I love my master;

Thus I perfume myself with

This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up

In the sunshine, happier than

You ever will be.

I sound the alarm!

Paperboy-come to kill us all –

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

Sleeping here, my chin

On your foot – no greater bliss

Well, maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and

Deny it. No human could

Love you as much I do.

I hate my choke chain -

Look, world, they strangle me!

Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Dig under fence – why?

Because it's there. Because it's

There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,

Now, always, and especially

When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,

But they are far more – I call

Them a vocation.

My owners' mood is

Romantic – I lie near their

Feet. I fart a big one.