Why you are Dutch

You're not German

You're not English

You're not French

You understand those languages but nobody understands yours.

You let your dog shit in the middle of the sidewalk.

Laughing when someone else steps in dogshit.

Complaining about stepping in dog shit.

You have in-depth knowledge of bizarre sextoys.

Political leaders can admit to smoking pot and nobody will notice.

Football captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

You have the largest open-air

urinals in the world.

You have the right to terrorize tourists on your bicycle.

You can always get a job as a circus performer by riding a bicycle while holding an umbrella to keep you, your cigarette and your groceries dry, as you drive your children through busy streets ignoring all traffic signals and expecting everyone to get out of your way.

You get to read incomprehensible subtitles on every film on TV.

You can be gay and nobody cares.

You can have the same government for ever even though you have regular elections.

You can imagine you are a world power.

Only country to successfully invade the US and buy its largest city.